just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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