I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
