She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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