im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
