i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
