Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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