remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
