I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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