Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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