we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
