And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
