I saw his package. It spoke to me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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