Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
