btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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