you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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