She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
