I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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