No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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