so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
