Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
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Die hipster scum.
Her pants budget must have been cut.
So you bought a flashlight and some E.
Fleshlight, to be exact. Big difference.
Fleshlight. Goddamn autocorrect.