Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
