Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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  (248): They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking. http://tfl.nu/97aw
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (2356)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.

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  (516): Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits. http://tfl.nu/o0ux
  Replies (86) Good night (1305) Bad night (2702)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

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  (512): just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever. http://tfl.nu/ittj
  Replies (69) Good night (4699) Bad night (865)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.

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  (647): It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task. http://tfl.nu/hv7g
  Replies (30) Good night (6193) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14753) Bad night (2553)
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  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

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  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (2036) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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  (301): so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq. http://tfl.nu/u32g
  Replies (7) Good night (958) Bad night (1588)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4593) Bad night (925)
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  (408): View more from California

  Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?

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  (408): Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol? http://tfl.nu/xach
  Replies (4) Good night (1639) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.

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  (734): The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use. http://tfl.nu/kozs
  Replies (7) Good night (1256) Bad night (590)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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  (856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (1463)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

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  (612): Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement. http://tfl.nu/cvtk
  Replies (7) Good night (1171) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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  (317): No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila". http://tfl.nu/tmys
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  You've never sent a girl a dick pic?

  (772): View more from Florida

  Call me old fashioned

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  (386): You've never sent a girl a dick pic? (772): Call me old fashioned http://tfl.nu/i7x8
  Replies (6) Good night (1411) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.

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  (631): I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct. http://tfl.nu/6tip
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (255)

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