So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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