i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
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i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
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Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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