Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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