you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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