For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
