That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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