Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
