So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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