Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
