I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
