nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's the barista slut.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
