I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
