dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thus making me awesome and them whores
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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