what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
