he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
