True but thats because hes a fetus.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
