Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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