sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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