About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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