My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
