he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
