Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
