john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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