you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
