eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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