Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
