I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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