She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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