We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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