I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize