My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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