i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
