An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
