i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
"it" just moved
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
