let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
