My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
