I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
