I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
