i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Operation Purity has been aborted
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize