I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
