Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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