The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
