If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
