Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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