I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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